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disappear。 I couldn't。 My
eyebrows stayed lodged in a worried line over my anxious brown eyes。
It was just a dream; I reminded myself again。 Just a dream but also my worst
nightmare。
I skipped breakfast; in a hurry to get out of the house as quickly as
possible。 I wasn't entirely able to
avoid my dad; and so I had to spend a few minutes acting cheerful。 I honestly
tried to be excited about
the gifts I'd asked him not to get me; but every time I had to smile; it felt
like I might start crying。
I struggled to get a grip on myself as I drove to school。 The vision of Gran—
I would not think of it as
me—was hard to get out of my head。 I couldn't feel anything but despair until
I pulled into the familiar
parking lot behind Forks High School and spotted Edward leaning motionlessly
against his polished silver
Volvo; like a marble tribute to some forgotten pagan god of beauty。 The dream
had not done him justice。
And he was waiting there for me; just the same as every other day。
Despair momentarily vanished; wonder took its place。 Even after half a year
with him; I still couldn't
believe that I deserved this degree of good fortune。
His sister Alice was standing by his side; waiting for me; too。
Of course Edward and Alice weren't really related (in Forks the story was that
all the Cullen siblings
were adopted by Dr。 Carlisle Culler and his wife; Esme; both plainly too young
to have teenage children);
but their skin was precisely the same pale shade; their eyes had the same
strange golden tint; with the
same deep; bruise…like shadows beneath them。 Her face; like his; was also
startlingly beautiful。 To
someone in the know—someone like me—these similarities marked them for what
they were。
The sight of Alice waiting there—her tawny eyes brilliant with excitement;
and a small silver…wrapped
square in her hands—made me frown。 I'd told Alice I didn't want anything;
anything; not gifts or even
attention; for my birthday。 Obviously; my wishes were being ignored。
I slammed the door of my '53 Chevy truck—a shower of rust specks fluttered
down to the wet
blacktop—and walked slowly toward where they waited。 Alice skipped forward to
meet me; her pixie
face glowing under her spiky black hair。
〃Happy birthday; Bella!〃
〃Shh!〃 I hissed; glancing around the lot to make sure no one had heard her。
The last thing I wanted was
some kind of celebration of the black event。
She ignored me。 〃Do you want to open your present now or later?〃 she asked
eagerly as we made our
way to where Edward still waited。
〃No presents;〃 I protested in a mumble。
She finally seemed to process my mood。 〃Okay later; then。 Did you like the
scrapbook your mom sent
you? And the camera from Charlie?〃
I sighed。 Of course she would know what my birthday presents were。 Edward
wasn't the only member
of his family with unusual skills。 Alice would have 〃seen〃 what my parents
were planning as soon as they'd
decided that themselves。
〃Yeah。 They're great。〃
〃I think it's a nice idea。 You're only a senior once。 Might as well document
the experience。〃
〃How many times have you been a senior?〃
〃That's different。〃
We reached Edward then; and he held out his hand for mine。 I took it eagerly;
forgetting; for a moment;
my glum mood。 His skin was; as always; smooth; hard; and very cold。 He gave my
fingers a gentle
squeeze。 I looked into his liquid topa2 eyes; and my heart gave a not…quite…
so…gentle squeeze of its own。
Hearing the stutter in my heartbeats; he smiled again。
He lifted his free hand and traced one cool fingertip around the outside of my
lips as he spoke。 〃So; as
discussed; I am not allowed to wish you a happy birthday; is that correct?〃
〃Yes。 That is correct。〃 I could never quite mimic the flow of his perfect;
formal articulation。 It was
something that could only be picked up in an earlier century。
〃Just checking。〃 He ran his hand through his tousled bronze hair。 〃You might
have changed your mind。
Most people seem to enjoy things like birthdays and gifts。〃
Alice laughed; and the sound was all silver; a wind chime。 〃Of course you'll
enjoy it。 Everyone is
supposed to be nice to you today and give you your way; Bella。 What's the
worst that could happen?〃
She meant it as a rhetorical question。
〃Getting older;〃 I answered anyway; and my voice was not as steady as I wanted
it to be。
Beside me; Edward's smile tightened into a hard line。
〃Eighteen isn't very old;〃 Alice said。 〃Don't women usually wait till they're
twenty…nine to get upset over
birthdays?〃
〃It's older than Edward;〃 I mumbled。
He sighed。
〃Technically;〃 she said; keeping her tone light。 〃Just by one little year;
though。〃
And I supposed if I could be sure of the future I wanted; sure that I would
get to spend forever with
Edward; and Alice and the rest of the Cullens (preferably not as a wrinkled
little old lady) then a year
or two one direction or the other wouldn't matter to me so much。 But Edward
was dead set against any
future that changed me。 Any future that made me like him—that made me
immortal; too。
An impasse; he called it。
I couldn't really see Edward's point; to be honest。 What was so great about
mortality? Being a vampire
didn't look like such a terrible thing—not the way the Cullens did it;
anyway。
〃What time will you be at the house?〃 Alice continued; changing the subject。
From her expression; she
was up to exactly the kind of thing I'd been hoping to avoid。
〃I didn't know I had plans to be there。〃
〃Oh; be fair; Bella!〃 she plained。 〃You aren't going to ruin all our fun
like that; are you?〃
〃I thought my birthday was about what I want。〃
〃I'll get her from Charlie's right after school;〃 Edward told her; ignoring me
altogether。
〃I have to work;〃 I protested。
〃You don't; actually;〃 Alice told me smugly。 〃I already spoke to Mrs。 Newton
about it。 She's trading your
shifts。 She said to tell you 'Happy Birthday。'〃
〃I—I still can't e over;〃 I stammered; scrambling for an excuse。 〃I; well;
I haven't watched Romeo
and Juliet yet for English。〃
Alice snorted。 〃You have Romeo and Juliet memorized。〃
〃But Mr。 Berty said we needed to see it performed to fully appreciate it—
that's how Shakespeare
intended it to be presented。〃
Edward rolled his eyes。
〃You've already seen the movie;〃 Alice accused。
〃But not the nineteen…sixties version。 Mr。 Berty said it was the best。〃
Finally; Alice lost the smug smile and glared at me。 〃This can be easy; or
this can be hard; Bella; but one
way or the other—〃
Edward interrupted her threat。 〃Relax; Alice。 If Bella wants to watch a movie;
then she can。 It's her
birthday。〃
〃So there;〃 I added。
〃I'll bring her over around seven;〃 he continued。 〃That will give you more
time to set up。〃
Alice's laughter chimed again。 〃Sounds good。 See you tonight; Bella! It'll be
fun; you'll see。〃 She
grinned—the wide smile exposed all her perfect; glistening teeth—then pecked
me on the cheek and
danced off toward her first class before I could respond。
〃Edward; please—〃 I started to beg; but he pressed one cool finger to my
lips。
〃Let's discuss it later。 We're going to be late for class。〃
No one bothered to stare at us as we took our usual seats in the back of the
classroom (we had almost
every class together now—it was amazing the favors Edward could get the
female administrators to do
for him)。 Edward and I had been together too long now to be an object of
gossip anymore。 Even Mike
Newton didn't bother to give me the glum stare that used to make me feel a
little guilty。 He smiled now
instead; and I was glad he seemed to have accepted that we could only be
friends。 Mike had changed
over the summer—his face had lost some of the roundness; making his
cheekbones more prominent; and
he was wearing his pale blond hair a new way; instead of bristly; it was
longer and gelled into a carefully
casual disarray。 It was easy to see where his inspiration came from—but
Edward's look wasn't
something that could be achieved through imitation。
As the day progressed; I considered ways to get out of whatever was goin