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was about ten feet ahead；
he stopped to wait for me。
〃No。 He's not back to normal；〃 Jacob said when I reached him； his mouth
pulling down at the corners。
He didn't start walking again。 I immediately regretted bringing it up。
〃StillwithSam。〃
〃Yup。〃
He put his arm around my shoulder； and he looked so troubled that I didn't
playfully shake it off； as I
might have otherwise。
〃Are they still looking at you funny？〃 I half…whispered。
Jacob stared through the trees。 〃Sometimes。〃
〃AndBilly？〃
〃As helpful as ever；〃 he said in a sour； angry voice that disturbed me。
〃Our couch is always open；〃 I offered。
He laughed； breaking out of the unnatural gloom。 〃But think of the position
that would put Charlie
in—when Billy calls the police to report my kidnapping。〃
I laughed too； glad to have Jacob back to normal。
We stopped when Jacob said we'd gone six miles； cut west for a short time； and
headed back along
another line of his grid。 Everything looked exactly the same as the way in；
and I had a feeling that my silly
quest was pretty much doomed。 I admitted as much when it started to get
darker； the sunless day fading
toward a starless night； but Jacob was more confident。
〃As long as you're sure we're starting from the right place〃 He glanced down
at me。
〃Yes； I'm sure。〃
〃Then we'll find it；〃 he promised； grabbing my hand and pulling me through a
mass of ferns。 On the other
side was the truck。 He gestured toward it proudly。 〃Trust me。〃
〃You're good；〃 I admitted。 〃Next time we bring flashlights； though。〃
〃We'll save hiking for Sundays from now on。 I didn't know you were that slow。〃
I yanked my hand back and stomped around to the driver's side while he
chuckled at my reaction。
〃So you up for another try tomorrow。'〃 he asked； sliding into the passenger
seat。
〃Sure。 Unless you want to go without me so I don't tie you down to my gimpy
pace。〃
〃I'll survive；〃 he assured me。 〃If we're hiking again； though； you might want
to pick up some moleskin。 I
bet you can feel those new boots right now。〃
〃A little；〃 I confessed。 It felt like I had more blisters than I had space to
fit them。
〃I hope we see the bear tomorrow。 I'm sort of disappointed about that。〃
〃Yes； me； too；〃 I agreed sarcastically。 〃Maybe we'll get lucky tomorrow and
something will eat us！〃
〃Bears don't want to eat people。 We don't taste that good。〃 He grinned at me
in the dark cab。 〃Of
course； you might be an exception。 I bet you'd taste good。〃
〃Thanks so much；〃 I said； looking away。 He wasn't the first person to tell me
that。
9。 THIRD WHEEL
TIME BEGAN TO TRIP ALONG MUCH MORE QUICKLY than before。 School； work； and
Jacob—though not necessarily in that order—created a neat and effortless
pattern to follow。 And Charlie
got his wish： I wasn't miserable anymore。 Of course； I couldn't fool myself
pletely。 When I stopped
to take stock of my life； which I tried not to do too often； I couldn't ignore
the implications of my
behavior。
I was like a lost moon—my planet destroyed in some cataclysmic； disaster…
movie scenario of
desolation—that continued； nevertheless； to circle in a tight little orbit
around the empty space left behind；
ignoring the laws of gravity。
I was getting better with my bike； which meant fewer bandages to worry
Charlie。 But it also meant that
the voice in my head began to fade； until I heard it no more。 Quietly； I
panicked。 I threw myself into the
search for the meadow with slightly frenzied intensity。 I racked my brain for
other adrenaline…producing
activities。
I didn't keep track of the days ：hat passed—there was no reason； as I tried
to live as much in the present
as possible； no past fading； no future impending。 So I was surprised by the
date when Jacob brought it
up on one of our homework days。 He was waiting when I pulled up in front of
his house。
〃Happy Valentine's Day；〃 Jacob said； smiling； but ducking his head as he
greeted me。
He held out a small； pink box； balancing it on his palm。 Conversation hearts。
〃Well； I feel like a schmuck；〃 I mumbled。 〃Is today Valentine's Day？〃
Jacob shook his head with mock sadness。 〃You can be so out of it sometimes。
Yes； it is the fourteenth
day of February。 So are you going to be my Valentine？ Since you didn't get me
a fifty…cent box of candy；
it's the least you can do。〃
I started to feel unfortable。 The words were teasing； but only on the
surface。
〃What exactly does that entail？〃 I hedged。
〃The usual—slave for life； that kind of thing。〃
〃Oh； well； if that's all〃 I took the candy。 But I was trying to think of
some way to make the boundaries
clear。 Again。 They seemed to get blurred a lot with Jacob。
〃So； what are we doing tomorrow？ Hiking； or the ER？〃
〃Hiking；〃 I decided。 〃You're not the only one who can be obsessive。 I'm
starting to think I imagined that
place〃 I frowned into space。
〃We'll find it；〃 he assured me。 〃Bikes Friday？〃 he offered。
I saw a chance and took it without taking time to think it through。
〃I'm going to a movie Friday。 I've been promising my cafeteria crowd that I
would go out forever。〃 Mike
would be pleased。
But Jacob's face fell。 I caught the expression in his dark eyes before he
dropped them to look at the
ground。
〃You'll e too； right？〃 I added quickly。 〃Or will it be too much of a drag
with a bunch of boring
seniors？〃 So much for my chance to put some distance between us。 I couldn't
stand hurting Jacob； we
seemed to be connected in an odd way； and his pain set off little stabs of my
own。 Also； the idea of
having his pany for the ordeal—I had promised Mike； but really didn't feel
any enthusiasm at the
thought of following through—was just too tempting。
〃You'd like me to e； with your friends there？〃
〃Yes；〃 I admitted honestly； knowing as I continued that I was probably
shooting myself in the foot with
my words。 〃I'll have a lot more fun if you're there。 Bring Quil； and we'll
make it a party。〃
〃Quil's gonna freak。 Senior girls。〃 He chortled and rolled his eyes。 I didn't
mention Embry； and neither did
he。 I laughed； too。 〃I'll try to get hin a good selection。〃
I broached the subject with Mike in English。
〃Hey； Mike；〃 I said when class was over。 〃Are you free Friday night？〃
He looked up； his blue eyes instantly hopeful。 〃Yeah； I am。 You want to go
out？〃
I worded my reply carefully。 〃I was thinking about getting a group〃—I
emphasized the word—〃together
to go see Crosshairs。〃 I'd done my homework this time—even reading the movie
spoilers to be sure I
wouldn't be caught off guard。 This movie was supposed to be a bloodbath from
start to finish。 I wasn't so
recovered that I could stand to sit through a romance。 〃Does that sound like
fun？〃
〃Sure；〃 he agreed； visibly less eager。
〃Cool。〃
After a second； he perked back up to near his former excitement level。 〃How
about we get Angela and
Ben？ Or Eric and Katie？〃
He was determined to make this some kind of double date； apparently。
〃How about both？〃 I suggested 〃And Jessica； too； of course。 And Tyler and
Conner； and maybe
Lauren；〃 I tacked on grudgingly。 I had promised Quil variety。
〃Okay；〃 Mike muttered； foiled。
〃And；〃 I continued； 〃I've got a couple of friends from La Push I'm inviting。
So it sounds like we'll need
your Suburban if everyone es。〃
Mike's eyes narrowed in suspicion。
〃These are the friends you spend all your time studying with now？〃
〃Yep； the very ones；〃 I answered cheerfully。 〃Though you could look at it as
tutoring—they're only
sophomores。〃
〃Oh；〃 Mike said； surprised。 After a second of thought； he smiled。
In the end； though； the Suburban wasn't necessary。
Jessica and Lauren claimed to be busy as soon as Mike let it slip that I was
involved in the planning。 Eric
and Katie already had plans—it was their three…week anniversary or something。
Lauren got to Tyler and
Conner before Mike could； so those two were also busy。 Even Quil was out—
grounded for fighting at
school。 In the end； only Angela and Ben； and； of course Jacob； were able to
go。
The diminished numbers didn't dampen Mike's anticipation； though。 It was all
he could talk about Friday。