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something fun。〃
The word seemed out of place in my life right now； barely prehensible；
bizarre。 〃Fun？〃
〃Fun is exactly what you need。 Hmm〃 he gazed out across the heaving gray
waves； deliberating。 As his
eyes scanned the horizon； he had a flash of inspiration。
〃Got it！〃 he crowed。 〃Another promise to keep。〃
〃What are you talking about？〃
He let go of my hand and pointed toward the southern edge of the beach； where
the flat； rocky
half…moon dead…ended against the sheer sea cliffs。 I stared； unprehending。
〃Didn't I promise to take you cliff diving？〃
I shivered。
〃Yeah； it'll be pretty cold—not as cold as it is today。 Can you feel the
weather changing？ The pressure？
It will be warmer tomorrow。 You up for it？〃
The dark water did not look inviting； and； from this angle； the cliffs looked
even higher than before。
But it had been days since I'd heard Edward's voice。 That was probably part of
the problem。 I was
addicted to the sound of my delusions。 It made things worse if I went too long
without them。 Jumping off
a cliff was certain to remedy that situation。
〃Sure； I'm up for it。 Fun。〃
〃It's a date；〃 he said； and draped his arm around my shoulders。
〃Okay—now let's go get you some sleep。〃 I didn't like the way the circles
under his eyes were beginning
to look permanently etched onto his skin。
I woke early the next morning and snuck a change of clothes out to the truck。
I had a feeling that Charlie
would approve of today's plan just about as much as he would approve of the
motorcycle。
The idea of a distraction from all my worries had me almost excited。 Maybe it
would be fun。 A date with
Jacob； a date with Edward I laughed darkly to myself。 Jake could say what he
wanted about us being
a messed…up pair—I was the one who was truly messed up。 I made the werewolf
seem downright
normal。
I expected Jacob to meet me out front； the way he usually did when my noisy
truck announced my
arrival。 When he didn't； I guessed that he might still be sleeping。 I would
wait—let him get as much rest as
he could。 He needed his sleep； and that would give the day time to warm a bit
more。 Jake had been right
about the weather； though； it had changed in the night。 A thick layer of
clouds pressed heavily on the
atmosphere now； making it almost sultry； it was warm and close under the gray
blanket。 I left my sweater
in the truck。
I knocked quietly on the door。
〃C'mon in； Bella；〃 Billy said。
He was at the kitchen table； eating cold cereal。
〃Jake sleeping？〃
〃Er； no。〃 He set his spoon down； and his eyebrows pulled together。
〃What happened？〃 I demanded。 I could tell from his expression that something
had。
〃Embry； Jared； and Paul crossed a fresh trail early this morning。 Sam and Jake
took off to help。 Sam was
hopeful—she's hedged herself in beside the mountains。 He thinks they have a
good chance to finish this。〃
〃Oh； no； Billy；〃 I whispered。 〃Oh； no。〃
He chuckled； deep and low。 〃Do you really like La Push so well that you want
to extend your sentence
here？〃
〃Don't make jokes； Billy。 This is too scary for that。〃
〃You're right；〃 he agreed； still placent。 His ancient eyes were impossible
to read。 〃This one's tricky。〃
I bit my lip。
〃It's not as dangerous for them as you think it is。 Sam knows what he's doing。
You're the one that you
should worry about。 The vampire doesn't want to fight them。 She's just trying
to find a way around
them to you。〃
〃How does Sam know what he's doing？〃 I demanded； brushing aside his concern
for me。 〃They've only
killed just the one vampire—that could have been luck。〃
〃We take what we do very seriously； Bella。 Nothing's been forgotten。
Everything they need to know has
been passed down from father to son for generations。〃
That didn't fort me the way he probably intended it to。 The memory of
Victoria； wild； catlike； lethal；
was too strong in my head。 If she couldn't get around the wolves； she would
eventually try to go through
them。
Billy went back to his breakfast； I sat down on the sofa and flipped aimlessly
though the TV channels。
That didn't last long。 I started to feel closed in by the small room；
claustrophobic； upset by the fact that I
couldn't see out the curtained windows。
〃I'll be at the beach；〃 I told Billy abruptly； and hurried out the door。
Being outside didn't help as much as I'd hoped。 The clouds pushed down with an
invisible weight that
kept the claustrophobia from easing。 The forest seemed strangely vacant as I
walked toward the beach。 I
didn't see any animals—no birds； no squirrels。 I couldn't hear any birds；
either。 The silence was eerie；
there wasn't even the sound of wind in the trees。
I knew it was all just a product of the weather； but it still made me edgy。
The heavy； warm pressure of
the atmosphere was perceptible even to my weak human senses； and it hinted at
something major in the
storm department。 A glance at the sky backed this up； the clouds were churning
sluggishly despite the
lack of breeze on the ground。 The closest clouds were a smoky gray； but
between the cracks I could see
another layer that was a gruesome purple color。 The skies had a ferocious plan
in store for today。 The
animals must be bunkering down。
As soon as I reached the beach； I wished I hadn't e—I'd already had enough
of this place。 I'd been
here almost every day； wandering alone。 Was it so much different from my
nightmares？ But where else to
go？ I trudged down to the driftwood tree； and sat at the end so that I could
lean against the tangled
roots。 I stared up at the angry sky broodingly； waiting for the first drops to
break the stillness。
I tried not to think about the danger Jacob and his friends were in。 Because
nothing could happen to
Jacob。 The thought was unendurable。 I'd lost too much already—would fate take
the last few shreds of
peace left behind？ That seemed unfair； out of balance。 But maybe I'd violated
some unknown rule；
crossed some line that had condemned me。 Maybe it was wrong to be so involved
with myths and
legends； to turn my back on the human world。 Maybe
No。 Nothing would happen to Jacob。 I had to believe that or I wouldn't be able
to function。
〃Argh！〃 I groaned； and jumped off the log。 I couldn't sit still； it was worse
than pacing。
I'd really been counting on hearing Edward this morning。 It seemed like that
was the one thing that might
make it bearable to live through this day。 The hole had been festering lately；
like it was getting revenge for
the times that Jacob's presence had tamed it。 The edges burned。
The waves picked up as I paced； beginning to crash against the rocks； but
there was still no wind。 I felt
pinned down by the pressure of the storm。 Everything swirled around me； but it
was perfectly still where I
stood。 The air had a faint electric charge—I could feel the static in my
hair。
Farther out； the waves were angrier than they were along the shore。 I could
see them battering against the
line of the cliffs； spraying big white clouds of sea foam into the sky。 There
was still no movement in the
air； though the clouds roiled more quickly now。 It was eerie looking—like the
clouds were moving by
their own will。 I shivered； though I knew it was just a trick of the pressure。
The cliffs were a black knife edge against the livid sky。 Staring at them； I
remembered the day Jacob had
told me about Sam and his 〃gang。〃 I thought of the boys—the werewolves—
throwing themselves into the
empty air。 The image of the falling； spiraling figures was still vivid in my
mind。 I imagined the utter freedom
of the fall I imagined the way Edward's voice would have sounded in my head
—furious； velvet；
perfect The burning in my chest flared agonizingly。
There had to be some way to quench it。 The pain was growing more and more
intolerable by the second。
I glared at the cliffs and the crashing waves。
Well； why not？ Why not quench it right now？
Jacob had promised me cliff diving； hadn't he？ Just because he was
unavailable； should I have to give up
the distraction I needed so badly—needed even worse because Jacob was out
risking