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'I want to know；' said Arthur； and repeated his case。
Barnacle junior stared at him until his eye…glass fell out； and then
put it in again and stared at him until it fell out again。 'You have
no right to e this sort of move；' he then observed with the greatest
weakness。 'Look here。 What do you mean？ You told me you didn't know
whether it was public business or not。'
'I have now ascertained that it is public business；' returned the
suitor； 'and I want to know'……and again repeated his monotonous inquiry。
Its effect upon young Barnacle was to make him repeat in a defenceless
way； 'Look here！ Upon my SOUL you mustn't e into the place saying you
want to know； you know！' The effect of that upon Arthur Clennam was
to make him repeat his inquiry in exactly the same words and tone
as before。 The effect of that upon young Barnacle was to make him a
wonderful spectacle of failure and helplessness。
'Well； I tell you what。 Look here。 You had better try the Secretarial
Department；' he said at last； sidling to the bell and ringing it。
'Jenkinson；' to the mashed potatoes messenger； 'Mr Wobbler！'
Arthur Clennam； who now felt that he had devoted himself to the storming
of the Circumlocution Office； and must go through with it； acpanied
the messenger to another floor of the building； where that functionary
pointed out Mr Wobbler's room。 He entered that apartment； and found two
gentlemen sitting face to face at a large and easy desk； one of whom was
polishing a gun…barrel on his pocket…handkerchief； while the other was
spreading marmalade on bread with a paper…knife。
'Mr Wobbler？' inquired the suitor。
Both gentlemen glanced at him； and seemed surprised at his assurance。
'So he went；' said the gentleman with the gun…barrel； who was an
extremely deliberate speaker； 'down to his cousin's place； and took the
Dog with him by rail。 Inestimable Dog。 Flew at the porter fellow when he
was put into the dog…box； and flew at the guard when he was taken out。
He got half…a…dozen fellows into a Barn； and a good supply of Rats； and
timed the Dog。 Finding the Dog able to do it immensely； made the match；
and heavily backed the Dog。 When the match came off； some devil of
a fellow was bought over； Sir； Dog was made drunk； Dog's master was
cleaned out。'
'Mr Wobbler？' inquired the suitor。
The gentleman who was spreading the marmalade returned； without looking
up from that occupation； 'What did he call the Dog？'
'Called him Lovely；' said the other gentleman。 'Said the Dog was the
perfect picture of the old aunt from whom he had expectations。 Found him
particularly like her when hocussed。'
'Mr Wobbler？' said the suitor。
Both gentlemen laughed for some time。 The gentleman with the gun…barrel；
considering it； on inspection； in a satisfactory state； referred it to
the other； receiving confirmation of his views； he fitted it into its
place in the case before him； and took out the stock and polished that；
softly whistling。
'Mr Wobbler？' said the suitor。
'What's the matter？' then said Mr Wobbler； with his mouth full。
'I want to know……' and Arthur Clennam again mechanically set forth what
he wanted to know。
'Can't inform you；' observed Mr Wobbler； apparently to his lunch。 'Never
heard of it。 Nothing at all to do with it。 Better try Mr Clive； second
door on the left in the next passage。'
'Perhaps he will give me the same answer。'
'Very likely。 Don't know anything about it；' said Mr Wobbler。
The suitor turned away and had left the room； when the gentleman with
the gun called out 'Mister！ Hallo！'
He looked in again。
'Shut the door after you。 You're letting in a devil of a draught here！'
A few steps brought him to the second door on the left in the next
passage。 In that room he found three gentlemen； number one doing nothing
particular； number two doing nothing particular； number three doing
nothing particular。 They seemed； however； to be more directly concerned
than the others had been in the effective execution of the great
principle of the office； as there was an awful inner apartment with a
double door； in which the Circumlocution Sages appeared to be assembled
in council； and out of which there was an imposing ing of papers；
and into which there was an imposing going of papers； almost constantly；
wherein another gentleman； number four； was the active instrument。
'I want to know；' said Arthur Clennam；……and again stated his case in the
same barrel…organ way。 As number one referred him to number two； and
as number two referred him to number three； he had occasion to state
it three times before they all referred him to number four； to whom he
stated it again。
Number four was a vivacious； well…looking； well…dressed； agreeable
young fellow……he was a Barnacle； but on the more sprightly side of
the family……and he said in an easy way； 'Oh！ you had better not bother
yourself about it； I think。'
'Not bother myself about it？'
'No！ I remend you not to bother yourself about it。'
This was such a new point of view that Arthur Clennam found himself at a
loss how to receive it。
'You can if you like。 I can give you plenty of forms to fill up。 Lots of
'em here。 You can have a dozen if you like。 But you'll never go on with
it；' said number four。
'Would it be such hopeless work？ Excuse me； I am a stranger in England。'
'I don't say it would be hopeless；' returned number four； with a frank
smile。 'I don't express an opinion about that； I only express an opinion
about you。 I don't think you'd go on with it。 However； of course； you
can do as you like。 I suppose there was a failure in the performance of
a contract； or something of that kind； was there？'
'I really don't know。'
'Well！ That you can find out。 Then you'll find out what Department the
contract was in； and then you'll find out all about it there。'
'I beg your pardon。 How shall I find out？'
'Why； you'll……you'll ask till they tell you。 Then you'll memorialise
that Department （according to regular forms which you'll find out） for
leave to memorialise this Department。 If you get it （which you may after
a time）； that memorial must be entered in that Department； sent to
be registered in this Department； sent back to be signed by that
Department； sent back to be countersigned by this Department； and then
it will begin to be regularly before that Department。 You'll find out
when the business passes through each of these stages by asking at both
Departments till they tell you。'
'But surely this is not the way to do the business；' Arthur Clennam
could not help saying。
This airy young Barnacle was quite entertained by his simplicity in
supposing for a moment that it was。 This light in hand young Barnacle
knew perfectly that it was not。 This touch and go young Barnacle had
'got up' the Department in a private secretaryship； that he might
be ready for any little bit of fat that came to hand； and he fully
understood the Department to be a politico…diplomatic hocus pocus piece
of machinery for the assistance of the nobs in keeping off the
snobs。 This dashing young Barnacle； in a word； was likely to bee a
statesman； and to make a figure。
'When the business is regularly before that Department； whatever it is；'
pursued this bright young Barnacle； 'then you can watch it from time
to time through that Department。 When it es regularly before this
Department； then you must watch it from time to time through this
Department。 We shall have to refer it right and left； and when we refer
it anywhere； then you'll have to look it up。 When it es back to us
at any time； then you had better look US up。 When it sticks anywhere；
you'll have to try to give it a jog。 When you write to another
Department about it； and then to this Department about it； and don't
hear anything satisfactory about it； why then you had better……keep on
writing。'
Arthur Clennam looked very doubtful indeed。 'But I am obliged to you at
any rate；' said he； 'for your politeness。'
'Not at all；' replied this engaging young Barnacle。 'Try the thing； and
see how you like it。 It will be in your power to give it up at any time；
if you don't like it。 You had better take a lot of forms away with you。
Give him a lot